4 Simple but powerful practises to do, according to a life coach

No matter how old you are or what kind of life you’ve lived, people are always healing from something. Pain and loss are just as much part of the human condition as are happiness and pleasure. However, does this fast-moving world allow us to understand and process these complex emotions before a barrage of other responsibilities demands our attention? In a digital society that emphasises external appearances, we often forget to step back and look inward at ourselves, much to our own detriment. 

This is why founder and certified holistic coach Sarah Lian envisions a safe place where women can escape the hustle and bustle of life to find sanctuary at SuppaRetreat. Focusing on a holistic approach to mindfulness and personal development, SuppaRetreat aims to empower women from all walks of life to discover, design and live the best versions of themselves. 

During my one-day experience at Supparetreat’s Interlude, I was filled with both trepidation and curiosity over what was in store and what I would uncover about myself along the way. Throughout the four-part journey titled Reflection, Release, Redefine and Renew, I was continuously reminded of the power of empathy that the women around me showed. Slowly but surely, I felt my walls come down and I was able to face many of the emotions I suppressed for a long time in an environment that was void of judgement or shame. 

Apart from feeling lighter and more at ease after the intimate session, I also walked away with useful tools taught during the curated programme to incorporate into my life. Ahead, Lian shares why these powerful practices can transform your life and simple ways to do them at home.

 

Observe first, react later

Emotions can get the best of us sometimes and we may end up saying or doing something we regret later on. Rather than reacting on instinct, why not choose to observe and understand first? It all starts with learning how to ground yourself. 

“Grounding is an important practice because it harnesses and cultivates your observation muscle and lets you put less judgment on each observation you’ve had. You can apply that in your daily life such as when you’re in an argument with someone. Instead of fighting back right away, sometimes it’s just about noticing how the other person is feeling and what they’re trying to communicate.

“If you’re yelling back just because they are, that’s not going to help the situation. So what can you do to accurately respond instead of just reacting? When we harness the power of observation, we get to take a second before we act. Sometimes, those seconds could save us from other things.”

How to practice at home:

“Grounding means allowing yourself to observe and be present. It’s all about connecting with the world around you and your five senses.

“All you need to do is sit in a room—it doesn’t need to be quiet, you can put on calming music. I like to use the five-countdown method. For example, list five things you hear, four things you smell, three things you can touch, and so on. As you start to connect more, your mind won’t be adrift but present.”

 

Get in the habit of journaling

With so many distractions and responsibilities, it may surprise you how little time you actually have for yourself. With journaling, this practice allows you to carve out personal time to truly connect with yourself and your innermost thoughts.

“I find journaling really important because it is your heart-mind connection in action. Whatever you’re feeling in your heart, your brain is helping you write it down. I also think journaling is great because it’s a real snapshot of who you are and what you’re feeling and thinking during a particular moment. You may not understand why but when you allow yourself to really write, you get to see how far along you’ve come when you look back.”

How to practice at home:

“To get into the habit of journaling, I recommend starting a gratitude journal. It can be as simple as writing down three things that you’re grateful for that day. Gratitude is the perfect way because it means you’re constantly looking for good things that are happening to you to write in your list. Over time, you’ll find yourself appreciating the little things in life that often go unnoticed.”

 

Be humble and accountable

The biggest revelation during my time at SuppaRetreat was learning about Ho’oponopono. It is an ancient Hawaiian practice that represents four phrases: “I love you”, “thank you”, “I’m sorry”, and “please forgive me”. Ho’oponopono is meant to express remorse, gratitude and love to heal and transform your relationships. 

“What I love about this practice is that you come from humility, forgiveness, compassion, and empathy. These four phrases allow you to be accountable for whatever has happened. When you are in control and take accountability for your actions, you can change how you want to feel about something—you’re no longer blaming or allowing someone else to be in control.”

How to practice at home:

While Lian recommends doing Ho’oponopono with others, it is also possible to do it by yourself. “I have Ho’oponopono-ed myself and envisioned a younger version of myself in front of me. I looked at her in my mind’s eye and said “I’m sorry” continuously. Saying that and imagining a little Sarah feeling loved brought me to tears. There’s so much you can take away from this powerful exercise. 

“Take as much or as little time as you need. You can also do this practice wherever you are or whenever you feel like you need to say it. For example, if you’re having a conflict with someone, you can Ho’oponopono them which means to envision that person in front of you and utter whichever of the four phrases resonate the most. 

“If possible, doing it with a friend or family member is also great because with an active participant with you, there’s a feedback that happens.”

 

Never underestimate the power of being still

Don’t get us wrong, moving your body is most definitely encouraged—but giving your body rest is also just as important.  We’re not talking about taking a massage or watching a movie per se. Rather, being intentionally still has its benefits. 

“Sometimes, sitting in stillness creates a moment where you can contemplate and look inward to find out what your body really needs.”

How to practice at home:

“Listening to music is optional. Lie on your back, close your eyes (a blindfold is also great if you have one), and allow your thoughts to come to you naturally. Block out everything else so that all you’re hearing is your own breathing or the music you’re listening to. When you focus on that, there are no distractions and your body will reach a certain meditative state to allow for better rest.”

 

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