If you’re active on Instagram and love a good laugh, you may come across the trending zodiac-themed meme accounts that have been accumulating follows by the thousands. A few of my favourites include @costarology, @notallgeminis and @bogwitchenergy, who have successfully integrated popular internet culture and millennial jokes with the mysticism of astrology.
My relationship with horoscopes is met with healthy skepticism, and I’ll admit I’d always skip the section when I come across it in the papers. But what can I say? I love a good meme. And regardless of whether you believe in horoscopes, one thing’s for sure, the meme accounts are hilarious. In light of this, I decided to give it a go and pair the latest couture collections to the twelve zodiac signs in the horoscope.
Disclaimer: I’m by no means an expert at astrology. For jokes, only.
Aries: The Ram (March 21 – April 19)
Your common traits: Fearless, passionate and enthusiastic
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Maison Margiela
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Armoured and ready, the collection screams power by unconvention. Creative director John Galliano revealed that that his intentions were “impulsive and anarchic” seen through raw hems, nomadic cutting and dramatic layering. Also, the streaks of red found throughout the collection ignite the fiery passion of a true Aries.
Taurus: The Bull (April 20 – May 20)
Your common traits: Loyal, dependable and get the job done
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Chanel
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When in doubt, you can always trust Chanel with classic looks and silhouettes that’ll stand the test of time. For Haute Couture Autumn/Winter 2019, Viriginie Viard brought bookish charm and librarian chic realness with modest hemlines and skinny coat dresses lined with traditional tweed and luxe velvet for structure and decadence.
Gemini: The Twins (May 21 – June 20)
Your common traits: Vibrant, unpredictable and inquisitive
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Guo Pei
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Apt for the zodiac represented by two faces, the opening look saw a pair of identical twins conjoined by the skirts of an elaborate tableau dress. The ‘Alternate Universe’ collection speaks about duality, perfect for the Gemini sign which is known to have the ability to switch from one facet of their personality to another in a heartbeat. We imagine their curious nature would appreciate the extravagance and highly detailed works by the Chinese couturier.
Cancer: The Crab (June 21 – July 23)
Your common traits: Nurturing, sensitive, emotional
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Alexandre Vauthier
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Vauthier latest couture line-up was romantic and sensual, which is right up the Cancer’s alley. Charming embellishments such as lesage, pleating and ruffles completed the feminine silhouettes that were offered, such as the mini cocktail dress, ribbon-tiered skirt and an exquisite feathered babydoll dress that flounced with every step.
Leo: The Lion (July 23 – Aug 23)
Your common traits: Bold, outspoken and loves the limelight
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Valentino
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The natural-born leaders thrive in theatrics and grandiose gestures and Pierpaolo Piccioli’s collection for Valentino sees just that. The opening look: a head-to-toe canary yellow ensemble, with embroidered daisies and a fringed wool skirt, completed with a matching wig that closely resembles a proud lion’s mane. During a preview, Piccioli revealed that the aim of the collection was “to into get this idea of women who are bold and daring, [and] living their best life”.
Virgo: The Virgin (Aug 23 – Sept 22)
Your common traits: Hardworking, loyal and kind
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Ralph & Russo
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The collection opened with looks that appeared to have descended from the heavens, in bright and pristine ivory that glistened in the light. Heavily beaded blouses decked in white pearls, and sequinned flapper dresses danced in the light alongside fur and feather embellishments. If angels really do exist, here’s how we imagine them to be dressed.
Libra: The Scales (Sept 23 – Oct 22)
Your common traits: Social, fair-minded and diplomatic
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Givenchy
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The Libra zodiac represents balance, which Givenchy cleverly displayed with harmonious silhouettes and a simple monotone colour palette. The show opened with a two-piece skirt suit, with rounded architectural shoulders and sleeves for smooth, clean lines, graduating into a fringed houndstooth skirt that frayed at the hem. The two-toned ostrich feathered jacket was a definite standout with each half of the garment taking a stand in black and white.
Scorpio: The Scorpion (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Your common traits: Resourceful, focused and brave
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Christian Dior
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Dior’s couture collection was inspired by the relationship between two heightened forms of art: couture and architecture. It’s the perfect marriage of disciplines for the most intense signs in the zodiac. Strong, gothic looks were met in the form of black hooded capes, veiled baby doll dresses and structured necklines with razor sharp angles.
Sagittarius: The Archer (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Your common traits: Confident, open-minded and ambitious
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Schiaperelli
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Dubbed as the innovative trail blazer of the zodiac group, we find it apropos to assign the sharp-shooting Sagittarius to the wonderful and fantastical world of Schiaperelli. The two have a reputation to be open to new ideas and breaking boundaries. The crystal-studded bodice for the standout star, paired with red acrylic nails embellished with diamante fringe will surely turn heads. The matching headpiece and earrings thrown in for good measure.
Capricorn: The Goat (December 22 – January 19)
Your common traits: Stoic, practical and love a good routine.
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Giorgio Armani Privé
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Why you’ll love Giorgio Armani Privé: The Capricorn is said to be the master planners of the zodiac and find power in stability. Sharply tailored jackets, controlled silhouettes and ordered beaded embellishments exude order and discipline.
Aquarius: The Water Bearer (January 20 – February 18)
Your common traits: Highly individualistic, progressive and vocal
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Viktor & Rolf
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These bohemian souls have a tendency to gravitate towards social justice issues and Viktor & Rolf’s Spiritual Glamour collection for Haute Couture Autumn/Winter 2019 perfectly aligns with their values. Viktor Horsting explains to Vogue that the collection is about “[transforming] the feeling of doom about our environment into positive action” and collaborated with Dutch artist Claudy Jongstra to produce sustainable felt. According to WWD, she raises her own flock of sheep, shears the wool herself and dyes them using plant pigments from her organic garden.
Pisces: The Fish (February 19 – March 20)
Your common traits: Dreamy, artistic and intuitive
Your Haute Couture A/W 2019 match: Iris van Herpen
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The mesmerising ‘Hypnosis’ collection explores the “manifolds within our ecologies” and the fish love swimming into the mysterious abyss. Iris van Herpen’s body of work which sees thousands of microfolds in otherworldly silhouettes toe the line between fantasy and reality, where the Pisces like to dwell.
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