20 Questions to ask your partner to strengthen your relationship

Date night fun


By Natalie Khoo

20 Questions to ask your partner to strengthen your relationship

No matter how long you have been with your partner, there are always new things to find out about each other every day. After all, you are both individuals with unique life experiences, peer groups, and personalities. So, how well do you really know your significant other?

It goes without saying that relationships can get mundane if they are stuck on the same conversations and events (work, meals, sports, the news, and the like). There’s nothing like novelty to keep things exciting in a healthy relationship. Besides trying new activities together, one of the simplest things you can do (albeit challenging for some) is to ask each other questions and get to know each other on a deeper level.

No, not the “how was your day?” or “what would you like to do this weekend?” type of questions, but topics that help you both dive deeper into each other’s inner thoughts and feelings. As cliché as it sounds, communication is key in relationships as it is in life. *Effective* communication is what generates emotional mileage and opens the door to greater intimacy.

To start the ball rolling, we have prepared 20 questions for you and your partner to ask each other. Even if you have explored some of these topics before, you may be surprised at how your S/O’s answers may have changed over time.

Before you jump in, however, here are a few things to keep in mind when initiating less than light-hearted questions (these apply in general):

  • Make sure you are both in the right mood and place for such conversations. It may not be the best idea to touch on topics like success and marriage during a grocery run or if either one of you had a long day at work.
  • Listen and make space for your partner to share their thoughts without judgement. These conversations are for you to understand each other better, not to play judge or therapist.
  • Put in the effort to remember your partner’s thoughts and answers. This may also be helpful for you to plan future dates/trips/surprises! If you have differing opinions on certain matters that are important to the both of you, consider exploring the topic further (or when the time is right).
  • Treat each other with respect, and don’t forget to have fun!
Photo: William Fortunato

20 Questions for couples

Hopes and fears

1. What are some things at the top of your bucket list?

2. How would you define success?

3. Who do you look up to most?

4. What is your biggest regret and what would you change about it?

5. What is your greatest fear and why?

Personal values

6. What are some personality traits you value the most?

7. What are your top three priorities in life now?

8. What do you consider your greatest strength and your worst weakness?

9. When faced with a problem, would you rather solve it immediately, leave it for later, or avoid it entirely?

10. Do you prefer planning or spontaneity?

Romance and intimacy

11. What do you look for in a relationship?

12. What are your main love languages?

13. Do you believe in marriage and kids? If so, how many kids do you want? (Married couples can revisit this question too)

14. What’s something you like and dislike about our relationship?

15. How would you define great sex?


16. What are your favourite foods/cuisines?

17. Where is your favourite travel destination?

18. What is your favourite childhood memory?

19. What has been your favourite date so far?

20. What is your favourite thing about me?

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