There is no rule in the universe more consistent than that of dad-texts being simultaneously the best and the worst. Always some combination of savage, incomprehensible and clueless, the audacity in father dearest’s online presence is equal parts horrifying and hilarious.
With that in mind, Team BURO has definitely had their fair share of weird and wonderful (but mostly silly) texts from dad, and we thought we’d share the best of our WhatsApps (because what even is literally any other social messaging platform? Dad wouldn’t know).
Whether it’s subtle hints to get hitched (and get out of his house) or ‘official’ releases from WhatsApp University (if you know, you know) he’s always got something to say. That said, we love him anyway—here’s to Father’s Day this year.
RACHEL AU, Editor
“Like most people, I’m in a group chat with my parents. And like most people, they tend to forward a ton of videos, info from the WhatsApp University syllabus and random photos from 10 years ago. But my dad also likes to use it to roast my mum when he’s updating me of their whereabouts. Case in point (above).”
LOH WEI YEEN, Deputy Editor
“Usually, when dad attempts a roast, he always manages to slide in a #DadJoke at the same time. In this case, he’s poking fun at my WhatsApp display picture, but then there’s an unfathomable typo that doesn’t make sense (that’s just not a word?). What he really meant was “So I presume it’s the effects of the sun”, AKA that the UV rays must’ve been the real reason for my pose, because he doesn’t get the point of a face-less DP, basically.”
JOAN KONG, Fashion Editor
“My dad and I rarely text (like most fathers, he usually just sends a bunch of random videos to our family group chat, spanning from life philosophies to silly pranks to ‘WhatsApp news’), but when we do, he’s usually either asking after my whereabouts or for a favour. The text above is the latter—yes, he still uses USB thumb drives to listen to his music in the car. If this isn’t peak boomer, I don’t know what is. I should really introduce him to Spotify.”
STEPHANIE BOEY, Fashion Writer
“I will credit my father as a strong influence of my love for television and movies. Growing up, I was blessed to be exposed to many classics and popular films. He remains a film buff to this day, being able to name actors and actresses at the drop of a hat. I have a Netflix account, so it was only a matter of time before my dad came knocking. Sure Dad, you can freeload off my Netflix. Works both ways, ‘cause I get to see what he’s watching and have an existing curated list every time I log on.”
REDZHANNA JAZMIN, Editorial Assistant
“Dad has a habit of eating any food I leave unattended, even if it’s only for a second while I grab cutlery. Before you say it, it’s not as easy as simply preparing a bigger portion; this act is no “honest mistake”—he does it to spite me. The latest casualty was my lunch from the other day (a salt beef sandwich, in case you’re curious). I wouldn’t know if it was any good but judging by this text he sent me, he certainly enjoyed it.”
MARISSA CHIN, Editorial Assistant
“That’s it—that’s how conversation with my Dad usually goes online. No ‘hi’, ‘how are you’s or affectionate nicknames; instead I get a barrage of bad wife jokes and Facebook videos on why bubble tea is cancerous. It ate up my storage so much that I had to turn off automatic downloads thanks to this guy. Love you, Dad.”
CALLEIGH YAP, Senior Web Designer
“Note: Happy = my doggo. Told my dad that I’ll be home soon and this is what he replied. I guess that’s his new way of saying I need to come home ASAP—guilt-tripping me with my dog.”
SARAH TAI, Senior Web Designer
“Here’s a compilation of the times my father has unabashedly hinted that he wants me to get married. We like speaking to each other in emoji language so, whenever he sends me a textless ‘bride’ and ‘groom’ emoji, I’ll just reply to him with my go-to ‘upside-down smiley’ emoji to feign ignorance as well as to imply ‘Stop asking me!'”
More Father’s Day stories here.
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